Of Thoughts and Stuff..

First of all i like to say sorry for not updating for so long...

Guess i was busy/lazy?

And that's the issue i wish to address now.

For all my life i've never been one to pen my thoughts into a book, or a journal for that matter. Never felt the need to.

I expressed my self in other ways by just plain thinking, at times drawing nonsense, and maybe just talking to myself (i know weird right?)

And i've always thought i figured it all out. Life, God, Studies, Who im gonna Marry, or what im gonna teach my kid (if i ever get one).

But sometimes i just get so sick of thinking.. and wished why didn't my life played out like a movie, you know? Or like any of the novels that i read. So that there is that sense of control in the outcome.

Countless of times i feel like i've made a mistake and wished that i could blanko it with liquid paper and rewrite the story. Or just skip forward into a movie or novel of my life to find out what happens if i made this decision and decide whether to do it or not.

I wished the author of my life DID show me what would be become of me and gave me a choice to a suitable ending. But then again, would there be a need of an Author if I could choose what i want to happen in my life? Dangerous thoughts like this often enter my mind.

*im not sure if i should even be blogging bout this, but what the heck its a personal journal anyway*

I've always had a personal vendetta against those who try to change me into what im not. Especially those who say they come in the Name of the author but its really their self righteousness the lead them to say or do things that Twist my arm so as to say, " Do as i say or society will Frown Upon you (please?)"

What is the point in being special then? What happened to "Everyone is Unique in Their Own Way"? ( i just realized that its another way of saying that we're all the same)

Doesn't personality play a part in out lives anymore? Are we all just sheep for the slaughter and only a few beautiful and intelligent ones survive?

ahhh Crap.

Does any of this make sense?

My Mind is One F'd up Playground.

(i had no idea what i what i wanted to blog about and just typed what i thought)

You can thank me for this bullshit later.

I've got class tomorow. Nites.